It was my birthday yesterday. Yeah. It's my birthday but nothing interesting happened. There is just one person that made me smile that day. I like the way he greeted me. :) Everybody in the office greeted me and bullied me to treat them. Haha I can't do anything but to smile because it isn't payday yet. Hehe I just went straight home. When I got home, my father just gave me money and he told me to buy whatever I want, so I went out and bought ice cream and chocolate because that is what I really what. I am addicted to ice cream and I just want to see a cake because it's my birthday. How boring is my birthday huh? But today, I decided to treat my office mates for them to stop bugging me. Haha And, my payslip gives me a reason to treat them. Blessings should be shared. I didn't expect anything. I didn't expect them to buy me a cake and I didn't expect that Ate Loren will give me something. I just so love my office mates. They are so nice to me. And by the way, I was able to see my crush for the whole shift. Hehe I am no longer a teen now. :) I hope that they will me see me somehow as a lady now and not a kid. :) Oppps. I think I can make an exception. They can see me as a kid, BUT please, not my crush. haha :D This isn't the best birthday I ever had but it brought smile to my face. :)
The very first hang-out of Gm was in Antipolo, at Cecil's residence.
Saya pa nga kasi kami lang talaga yung tao dun sa bahay tsaka si Ate Jack.
Memories were crystal clear in my mind.
Tanda ko yun kasi nag-fake ako na may klase ako para maka-alis ng bahay. Hehe ;p
Nagkita pa kami ni Ate Lea sa Ligaya kasi hindi ko alam papunta sa Antipolo.
Yung tipong 2pm na kami nakakain ng lunch kasi hindi marunong mag-ihaw sila Joy at Paolo. :p
Tapos sumakay ng trike sila Joy at Paolo at nagpapahatid sa EDGE TWO. Ang sagot ng driver, "'SAN YUN?!"
Yung nagluto si Ate Jack ng adobong maanghang na na-enjoy ko kahit na hindi ako kumakain ng maanghang. Hehe
Yung trip na lahat ng sulok ng bahay nila Cecil may picture kami. Sa CR lang yata yung wala.
Yung tanga pa ako maglaro ng Plants VS. Zombie at nag-aagawan sila Joy at Paolo sa computer.
Yung gumawa kami ng coffee jelly nila Mean tapos may take out pa.
Yung kalokohang walang humpay.
Yung wala kaming dalang digicam kaya cellphone na lang ni Ate Lea at Rose yung gamit namin.
Yung naglakad kami paakyat habang umaambon para sumilip sa clubhouse tapos si Ate Lea nagpaiwan sa bahay dahil TINATAMAD maglakad. :D
Tapos yung jumpshots hanggang sa mapagod sa kakatalon.
Yung uminom kami ng The Bar na inabot ng siyam-siyam. Haha
Pagkakaalam ko may gulay pa nun ehh. Hindi nga lang ako kumain. Hehe
Dun din nag-originate yung mga alias namin
Please correct me if i'm wrong, LATE ba si Paola nun? HAHA
Tapos ngayon, two years na kami.
Kami pa rin naman 'toh.
Ang pinagkaiba lang, degree holder na kami.
Tapos may baby Superman na kami.
Kami pa rin yung dating ...
GRUPONG MATAKAW
> Yung tipong kapag kumain kami parang dinaanan ng bagyo. Kawawa ang pa-demure kumuha ng parte. Pero the best talaga dyan sila Cecil at Joy ehh. Kami pa rin yung naglalabas ng pera hanggang sa may kayang ilabas para lang ipampatak. Yung adik sa WOF at DMX.
GRUPONG MASIYAHIN
> Yung tipong kapag magkakasama kami walang humpay na tawanan. Yung iiyak ka na sa sobrang tawa at ikaw na lang susuko dahil masakit na yung panga at tyan mo. Yung "NO DULL MOMENT"
GRUPONG MAGKAKASAMA hanggang sa dulo
> Alam ko, medyo imposible na 'to. Kasi yung iba malayo na. Pero pwede ba guys patunayan nating hindi sa graduation matatapos yung pagkakaibigan natin? Kung gusto naman may paraan diba? Patunayan nating tayo yung barkada na magkakasama pa rin hanggang sa wala na akong makuhang ninong at ninang sa inyo dahil ako yung huling mag-aasawa. HAHA Tayo yung magbabarkadang magkakasama sa lungkot at saya. Yung magbabarkadang sabay-sabay aabutin yung mga pangarap natin.
While I was browsing my News Feed in Facebook, I saw this picture.
I remembered my mother who is a cancer victim.
Suddenly, I remembered everything.
The day when my Mom told me and my father that she has a cancer.
I know I cried and I hugged her tight.
I utter many things.
I told her that: "Gagaling ka naman diba? Sasamahan mo pa ako sa graduation ko diba?" (I was second year college back then.)
She was diagnosed of Mucoepedermoid Carcinoma on March 2009.
Before that, she had an operation on September 2008.
It was an operation to remove the bump under her right ear.
Months later, the bump started to show again. She had her second operation on February 10, 2009. How can I forget that day? It was my nephew's birthday and we are in the hospital.
She had an operation for 8 hours straight. My brother was outside the operation room when the operation is taking place. I also want to go there but my father won't let me.
I don't exactly recall what I felt that day. But one thing is for sure.
I AM SCARED.
We were informed by the doctor that she might lose her right ear for the worst possible scenario.
I thought back then: "Sure! Take it all you want just keep my Mom safe!" I don't care if she lose her ears, she's still my mother, in blood and soul.
Morning came, the operation was a success. Her ear is still intact.
I still have a class that day and I went to the hospital to see my mother.
I can't help the tears that fell when I saw her lying on the hospital bed.
I don't know if it's for happiness because she's fine or the fact that seeing her lying on that hospital bed kills me. I hate to see her there. It pains me just knowing the fact that she suffers because of that stupid operation.
Then, a month ago, the bump started to grow again.
Then was the time when she was diagnosed cancer.
The doctor said it's already in the fourth stage.
What the heck?!
She had two operations and yet they didn't recognized it at first.
The doctor said she should undergo to a chemotherapy, and a lot of tests.
Me and my family tried all the best we can for her medication.
I am also grateful that my relatives offers both moral support and financial help.
She even tried organic treatment because she's doubting the chemotherapy.
I can say that she's also scared. She's scared for US. She's scared of what kind of life we will all have if God decided to take her away.
Such ironic. She's thinking about us but she was the one who is sick. Maybe that's what you called a "Mother's Love".
At sixteen years old of age, I already know how that stupid cancer works.
It kills the victim together with her loved ones.
It took away the peace in the family.
In my case, it took the most important person in my life.
On the other hand, cancer also brought the family tighter.
It taught me to pray, never lose faith and leave everything to God.
I even talked to God that if ever she wants to take my Mother away, I hope she's asleep because I never want to see her suffering more while the doctors are trying to revive her. I want her to leave in peace.
And, that wish is granted. She was in a state of coma when she passed away.
And I swear to God, she opened her eyes before she drew her last three deep breaths. Maybe she wants to see us for the last time.
See, my Mom is so brave and I am so proud of her.
So, I am happy that the kid above survive cancer.
She is so young and she has a whole life ahead of her.
To all cancer patients or those person who knows someone suffering from this deadly disease, JUST STAND UP.
I love the rain because it is the time when all I want is to stare at the rain drops and think.
Yesterday, when the rain was pouring non-stop, I thought of some things.
I thought of what future is waiting there for me.
What kind of life I will be having.
When is our next hang-out.
What to do today.
Even the smallest thing like what kind of clothes I will wear.
Then, I received a text from a very good friend of mine, telling me about a good news. Her boyfriend gave her a ticket for a trip to Boracay on September as his birthday present to her.
Of course, I am happy for her.
It's one of the places my friend wants to go to.
Honestly, I envy her.
Not because of that trip because I know that I can go to that place too BUT because she already found the man of her life.
I am not the kind of person that is in a rush about love life.
Actually, that is not on my priority list right now.
I envy the kind of happiness that my friends have.
All of my friends seems happy.
Then I came up with a question for myself.
Am I happy?
Right now,
I don't really know what or how to answer that question.
Since my Mom left, i don't really know what real happiness is.
I know I should move on.
But can you blame me?
I am getting used to this feeling. ALONE.
Geez.
I want to be happy like my friends but it seems so hard.
I wanna be HAPPY for real.
Then I thought, how can a person say that s/he is happy?
It is when s/he has a lot of money?
When s/he has all new gadgets?
When s/he has a very good career?
When s/he can party all night?
When s/he already found the her/him destiny?
See?
This rain is not bringing me anywhere but to a lot of questions. Haha
In the end, I decided to just live life the way it is.
To wait for my own time to experience real happiness.
Just appreciate everything I have now.
I know that God has a plan for me.
I'll be holding on to my faith.
To pray, pray and pray.
Every thing will fall into places at the right time.
Right now, my top priority is finding a career that suits me.
This is my very late gift for my father. (Although he will never read this because he don't know how to use the computer.) Hehe
I already wrote blogs that's dedicated to my mother and this one is the very first blog for my only KING. :')
I love him because of many reasons. And I will spill five of them.
5. I love him because he's my alarm clock.
~> Yes. I know it's already 8:00am when knocks my door repeatedly while shouting. "Bebe gising na. Alas-nueve na. Blah Blah Blah" He will not stop until I get up in my bed. Tsssss. See? My father is so advance. Hehe
4. He always make sure I eat my breakfast.
~> I am not the kind of person who eats in the morning. Yes. I know. I should not skip breakfast. But, I don't know. Maybe I'm too lazy to eat. Haha BAD! >:) Since my mother passed away, he's the only one who can force me to eat breakfast because I don't want him nagging me early in the morning. My ears are hurting. Awwwww.
3.What I want, I get. Just only say the word.
~> When he ask me what I want, my eyes turns very bright with matching a huge smile because that is my chance to get what I really want. Hehe From small things to something that really mean to me. Hanggang kaya nya, ibibigay nya sa akin.
2.He's my Superman.
~> I know how strong he face the future without my mother. And I really admire him. Now, he's the source of my strength.
1. He is the only person that will NEVER hurt me.
~>He's the only person that will never hurt me but he is the one who will certainly KILL anyone that will hurt me. Enough said. I know I am always safe with him. And I will LOVE him forever. :)
There are certain points in my life that I am so insecure about myself. I am anxious because I wasn't able to please everyone in a way that I need to be perfect to be accepted. But as time goes by, I meet friends who accepted who I am. By then, I realize, nobody's perfect and a real friend will accept you whoever you are.
I met those people who share their world for me. Those who respected my opinions as well as my silence. I am grateful to have them.
And now, I am writing this blog to express how I love being ME. :)
SO WHAT IF I AM NOT GOOD IN MATH? Like I care for that subject. Haha I hate it more than it hates me. :P
SO WHAT IF I HAVE CURLY LOCKS? Honestly, I really love my curly hair. I don't care if it is always in place or not. I don't ever thought of having it rebonded even if many people says it will look good. I don't want those harmful chemicals touch my hair. EVER.
SO WHAT IF I AM LONG-LEGGED? When I was in elementary, I am so insecure because my lower body is not proportion to my upper body. I always hid my long legs with long shorts. Not until Wexi and Mean scolded me. They said that they love my legs and wishes that they also have the same as mine, I realized, my girl friends love my legs, who am I not to love it? By then, I considered it as one my biggest asset. :)
SO WHAT IF I LOVE SHORT DRESSES? Many people might say that I love to wear skimpy dresses, my reaction? :) I don't have time for those jealousy monsters. I don't need to defend my sense of fashion because I am not questioning theirs.
SO WHAT IF I AM WEARING CONTACT LENSES? In one look, you will recognize my colored eyes. I heard many acquaintances that I am using contact lenses because of fashion. Ung tipong pang-porma lang. The hell I care. In the first place, they don't know how it feels to have a blurred eyes. In fact, my lenses taught me how to be responsible because wearing those plastics means big responsibility. Glasses? No way. Just kill me now. :D ^^,v (Maybe my acquaintances is right. I am fond wearing glasses, In fact, I use glasses for porma. :P Baliktrad ako. Hehe)
SO WHAT IF I AM MOODY? Okay. I admit, that's a liability on my part. I will just say that those people who really knew me who are my so called FRIENDS, are willing to have a moody friend forever. :P Well, atleast, I'm just moody, not a bipolar. Hehe
SO WHAT IF I AM FOND OF HENNA TATTOOES? I love art. Ahm, not those Picasso's level but i love drawings. I will never forget how satisfied and thrilled I was when I saw my very first tattoo. I makes my heart happy, so who are you to judge me? If you don't have anything good to say, just shut the f*ck up.My motto in life now? Do whatever makes you happy.
SO WHAT IF I AM CRAZY? Those normal people, I pity them because they wasn't able to experience how to laugh like there's no tomorrow, how to do stupid things and learn from it and how to have crazy friends. Hey Miss Prim and Proper? Are you having fun inside your comfort zone?
I love every bits of me.
If you love me, I promise to love you too.
If you don't? The hell I care to you. :)
PS: Hey June! Please be good to be. Good vibes rocks :)
Kasama rin sya sa SEBO (yun yung pangalan ng boy group na super love namin ng mga girlfriends ko.)
High school pa lang kami, super close na kami. AS IN.
Sya pa nga lagi ugat ng LQ namin ng ex ko.
Basta.
Hindi ko alam pero sobrang at ease ako sa kanya.
Lagi ko nga syang sinusungitan at inaaway. (I'm sorry. I'm such a meanie. Hehe ganyan ako magmahal ng kaibigan.) :P
Lahat nasasabi ko sa kanya. As in anything.
Nung nag-break kami ng ex ko, lagi syang nasa tabi ko.
Natatandaan ko pa, muntik na akong umiyak sa harap nya kasama ng mga girlfriends ko nung nagkukwento ako, haha High school ehh. Alam mo na, akala mo totoo na. Pero teary eyed lang talaga ako nun. Haha
Kakwentuhan ko pa sya magdamag sa cellphone nun tungkol sa break up issue.
You know what's best having a guy friend? It's the privileged of having an unbiased answer. Lahat ng tanong ko sinasagot nya kung ano ba talaga yung gusto nyang sabihin.
Umuusok na nga ehh cellphone ko nun ehh.
Nung sixteenth birthday ko, bumili sya ng cake at ice cream sa akin. Parang kinantsawan ko lang naman sya nun.
Tapos kapag my anda, nanlilibre sya ng ice cream kasama yung mga girlfriends ko.
Nung nag-Ecopark kami, sya ung reason kaya nakasama si Bern.
Tapos last valentines binigyan nya ako ng red roses. Hindi ko talaga inaaasahan yun kaya sobrang na-surprised ako.
Marami na syang nagawa para sa akin. Pero yung hindi ko talaga makakalimutan, nandun sya nung mga panahong kailangan ko ng kaibigan.
Super totoo yan! SWEAR!
Kahit mukha na syang tanga sa mga corny nyang quotes at pick up lines, wala lang sa kanya.
Kahit na ako yung unang nang-away, sya pa rin yung magso-sorry. Kasi sabi nya, mapapadali daw yung 2012 para sa kanya kapag nagalit ako. Haha (takot sa akin weh. :P)
Tapos kapag nalulungkot ako, he's just a text away. Gagawin nya lahat para lang mapasaya ako. Para tumahan na ako.
Pagdating naman sa inuman kapag may session, sinasagot nya yung para sa akin. He's the man you can always count on.
PERO, hindi ko ginustong ma-inlove sya sa akin.
Hindi ko talaga inaasahan yun. Hindi ko rin sya masisi. Mas lalong naging close kasi kami mula nung break up. Alam ko sa sarili kong hindi ko sya tinignan sa paraang tiningnan ko yung kaibigan nya. Pero alam ko rin sa sarili ko na kapag hindi nya tinigil yang kalokohan nya, TROUBLE.
Tapos lately, iba ehh.
Iba talaga sya.
Ayokong mag-assume pero hindi lang naman ako yung nakakapansin.
Sa mga group messages nya, sinasabi nyang inlove sya sa kaibigan nya.
Basta yung mga ganun. Ehh assuming ako kaya feeling ko ako yun. Pero hindi naman ako mag-iisip ng ganun kung wala akong batayan. Reasonable akong tao.
Kapag ino-open ko yung usapang lovelife, ayaw nya magsalita. Basta ang sabi nya lang, I quote, "Basta ayoko. Ayoko sa iba." tapos ngayon sa kakapilit ko sa kanya may sinabi pa sya, I quote again, "Basta. Yung tungkol sa lovelife na naghihintay sa wala." Akala nya tatawanan ko sya kasi ganun yung madalas 'kong ginagawa, pero hindi ngayon. Wala akong karapatang tawanan yung nararamdaman nya. Sino ba ako diba?
Ang inaalala ko lang kasi, naghihintay sya. Alam ko kahit hindi nya sabihin, umaasa sya. At yun ang ayokong mangyari sa kanya. Yung ako mismo yung gagawa sa kanya ng bagay na yun. Masyadong komplikado.
Hindi ko alam kung bakit kailangan 'kong isipin yung mga ganitong bagay. Pero gumugulo talaga sa isip ko 'to.
Alam ko may choice ako. May dalawang scenario na pwede kong pagpilian.
OR
And I hope I will do the right thing.
PS: If you happen to read this crap, gusto ko lang sabihin na importante ka sa akin. Kahit anong mangyari hindi na mababago yun. :) I thank you for everything.
I'd like to thank you for all the things that you've done for me.
Thank you for bringing me in this world. For keeping me inside your tummy for nine months, and for betting your life just to bring me out.
For raising me as a good person, for giving your best shot to give the best for me, for doing the best and thinking what's best for me.
Thank you for giving me unconditional love and lots of care. From the moment that I was born, you forgot yourself and focused on mine.
Thank you for giving me everything without expecting anything in return. For all my birthday celebrations that you always prepare.
For all the support and faith in me. For being my number one fan when I am dancing at the stage. For proudly talking about me after I did good in school.
Thank you staying at my side when everything seems so bad. For wiping away my tears and hugging when it feels cold.
Thank you for your smiles that fuels me to go on. For just a glance of your face, I'll be able to pull myself back.
Thank you for understanding me. For bearing with your stubborn unica hija. For keeping a lot of patience when tantrums attacks.
Thank you for being an inspiration. For being brave to protect me. For keeping me away from harm.
Remember back then when I was on my third grade? The incident when my two rings and precious earrings robbed away from me? I will never forget how tight you hugged me and thanked God that I got home safe.
I'm sorry for letting that bitch get my valuables. Those things has sentimental value because I already have it when I was still a baby.
I'm sorry for being rude and meanie sometimes. For being self-centered brat.
I'm sorry for hurting you in many ways. For bringing you in tears when I failed my Eco subject in fourth year high school.
I'm sorry because I lied to you many times.
Remember when you said to us that you were diagnosed with cancer? I cried.
That was the only time when I took care of you.
I never left your side. You grant my wish to be a nurse. :)
Thank you for extending 10 more days. For fighting cancer so that you can be with us.
I know you're in a better place right now.
I know where you're need to be, even though it's not here with me.
I know that at some point, you're proud of me because I able to fulfill you're wish.
I'm a degree holder now. :)
I know that's what you want.
I miss you. I will miss you forever.
I miss your smile, your face, even the times when you are nagging me.
I miss everything about you.
If I will given a chance, I will do everything, even give up all that I have just to hug and kiss you again.
I love you. I will love to eternally.
PS: Don't worry with me now. I will always be your Bebe. :)
It seems just like yesterday, I am taking an entrance exam in a university. I had no friends, I don't know anyone. I am like a lost sheep inside the forest. I had a rough way to enter the college life. I lost my way on the day of my interview, I forgot my report card which is needed, I experienced a very long line, hit lunch break when it's already my turn, and got a wrong assessed schedule on my first semester. Too bad. But as they say, every dark cloud has a silver lining. I met people who became my friends. Especially Vanie.
Of all the people I've met on my first semester, I can say that she is my best friend. We belonged to different faith but that doesn't stop us to become really good friends. She the most kikay friend that I got back then. She taught me many things.
Then, second year came, Vanie had to transfer to another school to pursue her dream, to become a lawyer. She transferred to another school and shifted in Political Science. I know that's her dream. So I didn't bother to stop her.
I went back being alone. Until I've met Tropang GM.
I am not alone anymore. I am blessed to have a friends like them. As many people say, everything has an ending, and an ending is a new beginning. The feeling walking on the stage, wearing toga. It's such a weird feeling. I can't describe. We finally graduated. The moment we've all been waiting for. The result of four years of hard work. It's sad because I used to be with them almost everyday. I will surely miss them so much. :(
In my four years in the university, I would like to say:
* Thank you to my former classmates way back as a college freshie. * It's nice meeting you here (Rizal Technological University) Vanie.You will be my forever mare. Be a lawyer someday. :) * Thank you my Chikqasz and Hukluban for the friendship. * Thank you Supremes for being an inspiration to us. :) * Thank you to my high school friends who always reach up to me even if all of us are busy. Especially to my girlfriends and the boy group that I will love forever. :) * Thank you and I love you so much to Tropang Gm who brought the crazy part of me. * To my teacher (in elementary and high school), I thank you for all the knowledge. I'm sorry if I am not listening at many times. :p I am also grateful to have a cool college professor. Thank you for making our life miserable, errr, less miserable. :) * Thank you to all the bad experiences for making me this strong. * Thank you enrollment time for all the kickback. HAHA :D * Thank you to my father who sponsored my very first contact lenses. :* * Thank you to my mother, thinking just about you gives me the strength to study. I wish you were here. I love you so much. :* This is for you.
Congratulations and good luck to us Batch 2012. Fly high and reach for our dreams.
I know you might kill me when you start reading this, but hey! Being mushy sometimes won't kill you. Aside from that, it is the product of lazy afternoons. :) Don't curse me okay? ;) Besides, this will only contains pictures.
I just want to tell you this:
I love you to bits girls! <3 <3 <3
I love you forever. :)
And there it goes ....
It all started in high school.
I met these wonderful persons way back at high school.
I was a transferee and I didn't regret it.
My high school was filled with sweet memories because of these girls.
How can I ever forget the stuffs we always did together?
* Movie Marathon every Friday after class.
* Lunch Breaks together.
* Chatting while sitting at the corridor.
* Waiting for each other so that we can leave the school at the same time.
* Long phone conversations. (Me and Kath)
* Texting 'till dawn.
* Hanging-out in school after class if we don't have anything else to do at home. Assignments don't stop us, projects maybe. ;D
Aside from that, we also spent summers together.
In fact, if there was such as "Loyalty Award" in The Anchor, we've already won that. Haha
Together with the boy group that we will always love. :D
Then, collage came. Which meant less time to hang-out out. And more friends to make. But despite that, we make sure that we get together once in a while. I admit that I have new found friends, but you already occupied a big place in my heart. :) Friendship doesn't meant by distance. It's by HEART. :D
You might think that I'm going crazy when you see this, but the heck I care.
It is a nice way to reminisce our past.
Aside from that, my blog really needs an update. Haha
PS: Before I end this kind of crap, (Haha) I still remember in high school, my teacher told me that you can only have ONE best friend. Maybe she's right. Because I got these pretty ladies here as my SOUL SISTERS. They are my sisters at <3.
